Sit and listen.

"When people say: I’m a mess

they’re not warning you off

they’re willing you closer

to see past the sadness at 2AM,

and the chain-smoking, the crying at pianists

midnight meals, foetal positions and the sulk of bottom lips

There’s something inherently vulnerable about it

‘I’m a mess’

it’s filled with a soft stark pleading you won’t hear unless you’re listening right and all it means is

‘Please don’t leave me here alone."

I hate plagiarism but I honestly can't for the life of me remember where I got that beautiful little piece of writing from. It is true though. Sometimes endings can be disguised as beginnings.

Never settle

(Beats my hood any day- a street in Bonn Germany. Part of 22 places that hard to believe exist, which you can view here)

In making my blog more consistent, I've decided to make a few weekly regularities. One of these is in the form of quotes, which if you're a writer and stuck for ideas..can be a godsend. So this week it comes from one of my personal mentors Eva Chen, and her definition of having it all:

"I think that you should absolutely strive for the things you want, the experiences you hunger for. But, when it starts making you unhappy, or you’re stricken by a sense of ennui, or you decide you want something else in life, don’t be afraid to stop and do something else. Curiosity is a trait that’s rewarded when you’re young, but as you get older it’s greeted by consternation. Never lose your sense of adventure or yearning—but balance it with an understanding of what really matters to you in life, whether it’s family, friends, schooling, art, giving back, etc etc."

Word.

Wait watchers

As someone who is a keen observer I'm usually pretty alert to my surroundings, and in particular what people are doing around me. When shopping at a supermarket for instance, I enjoy taking in the small moments, like the look of exasperation coming from the checkout girl as she scans yet another item from an equally disinterested customer. I believe it's those small fragments of the bump and grind that defines our daily routine, that helps us to make more sense of each other. I'm sure you're wondering: well why should we want to do that? Why should I pay attention to a complete stranger? Because as it turns out, it's not what we do by ourselves that gives us a sense of being, but how we react and interact with those around us. Shedding a whole new light on this idea, photographer Haley Morris-Cafiero, took pictures of strangers on her travels and captured their reactions to her weight. 

Free your mind

(Freedom according to Tumblr)

'Instead of shutting up, perhaps accept whatever annoys you for what it is and forgive it. Don't allow the mind to identify with it. I think it might help with finding inner peace.'

- from a friend who will soon be guest travel blogging on SN.

Constructive criticism

 
I've been receiving the same comment from a close family member lately and it goes something like this- 'You're so negative man' (any guesses as to who?) Seeing as I always seem to deflect criticism, being extremely sensitive to it, I came to horrible realisation that..maybe he was right. I glanced at my Facebook profile, to make sure I was reflecting the most accurate portrayal of myself as one does, and noticed my last few status updates were slightly on the 'hater' side. The way I figured it, it wasn't my fault that people were so oblivious to how god damn irritating they were, and as someone who can articulate things kind of well (lol) I felt it was my moral duty. But the only problem with that was, that sometimes my criticism masked as humour can often comes across as self-righteous, and I realised that as someone who hates criticism I was more than happy to criticise everyone else. Defensive mechanism? Yep, looks like it. 

Be useful

Often at work, we get a lot of interesting customers that come through. And often then not, they're willing to tell you all about the kind of day they've had, and therefore why they desperately need a coffee. Sometimes however, we get customers that don't tell you a whole lot about themselves, yet instead let their personalities inform us of what kind of life they lead. One of those customers is a man called Colin Dyer, who comes in every second day or so with his wife to get their fix of our coffee truffles. Apart from the fact that they really like coffee truffles, the only thing I knew about him was that he sometimes spoke French and more often then not, had time to charm us with his little eccentricities (wearing a paper bow tie being one). Recently I discovered a few things about Colin that made me think about all the other people that choose not to reveal themselves. 

Marina & Ulay

Sometimes in life, we're lucky enough to meet someone fall in love, and have it stay that way. Other times, we're not so lucky and somehow lose touch, or lose sight of them altogether. New-York performance based artist Marina Abramovic experienced a different kind of love story, which was brought to life in her 2010 MoMa retrsospective 'The Artist is Present'. The show consisted of Marina sitting down at a table and sharing a minute silence with anyone who dared to sit in front of her (or as I like to call it a staring contest but more 'arty'). During her show, she was surprised by a former love Ulay, whom she had an intense relationship with during the 70s. After both decided it was time to call it a day, they walked the Great Wall of China, each from one end, finally meeting in the middle and parting with one last embrace. The video below shows what happened when they were reunited again, proving that sometimes when it comes to love, all is not lost.